So, I was recently asked what my views were on forgiveness. I thought that was a great subject for my next blog that encompasses all things tied into being more happy, more positive and living a fuller life. So….here I am explaining my personal thoughts on the topic of forgiving. (I claim to be NO expert….just a person who is honest and sharing her opinions 🙂 ) Let’s begin shall we……
I love the above quote….this (to me) is entirely TRUE. Forgiveness is more about YOU than the person(s) who may have upset or hurt your feelings. I know, I know….those two words “I Forgive” are so simple yet SO HARD to say. (I too have struggled with this in the past, but today I know that forgiving those who may have hurt us with their words or actions leads to a happier mindset…I will explain)
When we forgive the person or the situation you GIVE UP the power that it is/has held over you. (You know……those icky feelings of hate, disgust, upset and hurt feelings…all those emotions that tend to make you feel bad inside…and when you feel bad on the inside….how do you act on the outside?? Not too good, right?) You now take control of the situation, how you feel and you move on. (Why hold onto feelings or thoughts that do NOT feel good or serve you for the better??) Free YOURSELF for the situation and power it holds over your emotions……..(See below picture….how perfect is that?)
Now….I’m not saying you have to run over to the person who has hurt you, hug them and tell them to their face “I forgive you for…..”. (you can if you want to, but that’s not how it has to be done. Plus, let’s face it….not many of us want to do that. haha) For me, I simply step away, see the situation for what it is/was, forgive the person (because let’s face it….generally the way a person treats you says way more about them than it does you. ) and MOVE ON. I forgive and move on (I don’t forget about what happened, but I do not dwell on it. All that does is constantly remind me of how that person made me feel and takes me out of my “happy zone”.) When I find myself slipping into that state of being mad at someone I remind myself of this saying (putting it into my own words) “Staying mad or angry at someone is like slowly sipping on poison hoping it will kill them.” How true is that little saying? (really let it soak in……ewwww, staying mad or having hate toward someone is like YOU drinking the poison and hoping it hurts the other person? NO THANK YOU. haha)
When someone hurts us it can be really tough to issue forgiveness to them, but remember you are forgiving them so YOU can move on and stay in your “happy flow”. Forgive, move on, send them love and go on with your happy, loving and positive existence. (All this can be done within you….you don’t need to tell the person to their face “I forgive you”…….now, if the person comes to you to apologize or discuss how they may have hurt you…then that’s different. You can listen to what they have to say and simply end it by saying you forgive them and would like to move on from the situation.) Remember my last blog post about stating “It ALL starts with love”? Well, it’s true. You can’t live a life full of love, happiness, positivity and kindness if you let a part of yourself stew in the pain that someone else has caused you. We can’t control others….but we can control how we react and we CAN forgive.
With all this said…..I want you to know we are ALL human. We get our feelings hurt and yes, we get mad. The thing that I’ve realized most is that when I allow what another person said or did to keep me mad it is really me giving that person/situation the power of me and how I WANT to feel inside. You are the decider of your emotions, your attitude and your outlook on life….Why allow ones actions to dictate that for you? I tend to see the situation, take account of my feelings, forgive, release those feelings (jumping right back into my happy stream) and MOVE ON. After I do all that…I’m done with that situation…I don’t want to rehash it, talk about it…I’ve moved on and I’m back in the flow of “Happy Nichol”. (No offense to you don’t waste your time…here’s why…Cuz I’m Happppppy 🙂 )
I’m sure some of you are asking yourself “Do I have to be friends with them?” Absolutely NOT. (haha). Forgiving someone is not about allowing them right back into your life….it’s about moving past the emotions it invoked and taking back the control in your OWN life. Personally for me….it isn’t about the “other” person…I do this for ME and ONLY ME.
So there you have it folks…my personal thoughts regarding “forgiveness”. Let it all sink in and remember…..It STARTS with LOVE. Love yourself, send love to those who come into contact with you and be KIND. (the world already has enough Negative Nancy’s in it…ha ha)